Don't Stop, Won't Stop

It doesn't take much to make me smile these days.

Despite new medical diagnoses, my smiles flourish.

You cannot stop. 

You cannot stop the blushing of romance.

You cannot stop the summer sun reflecting off of the crisp pages of a good book.

You cannot stop the power of friends gathered together.

The trails and the trees.

Notebooks with honest words.

The purity of live music and the freedom of dancing.

You cannot stop, joy.

I look forward to writing more now that my schedule has slowed from work. I look forward to climbing again--my hands too smooth after not climbing for two weeks--most importantly though, I look forward to connecting.

While I am here, I figured that I'd share a snip-it from the Big Easy Express that I appropriately came across this morning. Consider it your five minute banjo therapy for the day.

Big Easy Express on Nowness.com.

Re-purpose

I'm not surprised that I haven't blogged in roughly a month.
I have been busy.

Busy with wonderful, celebratory happenings such as birthdays, BBQ's, and dinners with the "Family".
So why haven't I written?

Because none of these events, though fabulous, had the ability to ground me.

It wasn't until I let my feet hit the soil this past Saturday that I felt my mind revert to a state of imagination, creativity and excitement. Alongside my dear friend, Adrienne, I felt her connection as our auras simultaneously aligned, preparing us for the day ahead.

With no concept or concern of distance, we hiked the switch-back trail catching up like old friends do. We stopped to take photos, and I got my dose of biology as she educated me on the families and origins of the plants that we passed. A true plant physiologist that woman is. (Ad--I found myself thinking about Bracken, Maidenhair, and Lady Ferns while eating my breakfast this morning. What have you done to me?). As you can also see in the photo, I got a lesson in which plants were edible. Though delicious, I remained skeptical, fearing that I would accidentally eat the wrong type and wind up dead.

With no true agenda for the day, we allowed ourselves to escape and cling to nature; I felt as my mind and soul dropped it's guard and welcomed the reunion; asking for acceptance and unity. Being typical 24 year-olds, Adrienne and I continuously find ourselves trying to navigate the world of love, meanwhile fighting to make a name for ourselves in order to keep our independence as women, professionals, and mentors. We talked about the tender love of a long-term partner and the excitement of a new crush, the turmoil and the elation that goes with dating, and the pain and the forgiveness of relationships; all while shamelessly thanking and praising our outlets: hiking, yoga, climbing, and writing, as our saving graces for our daily sanity.

Working our way past Fairy Falls towards the Devils Rest Summit, we found ourselves alongside a creek with a powerful current just gentle enough to invite us to play on her slippery rocks, logs, and mud. I felt my chest relax as I approached the water, ears stimulated over the rush, my eyes locked on to the waters path. Dancing with the elevation, flirting with large rocks and fallen trees, she made her deceleration to the forest that this was her course, but all are welcome. You couldn't stop this dance, she was full of direction, ready to adapt to protect her needs.


Adrienne and I found ourselves continuously in awe of instances such as these that displayed nature's ability to adapt and re-purpose itself within its environment. As easily as the fallen trees became a part of the creeks "tango", dozens of trees warped their strong foundation, altering the direction of growth in order to maximize sunlight. This environment is a continuum of adaptation. That very adaptation is what made them beautiful to me. On the trail we passed many perfectly erect trees, solid in their roots, beaming from the sun's rays--but my heart was with those who were twisting and leaning, and those that had fallen.

In attempt to figure out why I was so enamored with those unique trees, I began to parallel my own experiences to the trees.  As I fight towards my personal path of enlightenment, I pride myself on leading a life that continually challenges me. Just as those trees fought for extra sunlight, I fight to make myself stronger. I adapt to the changes at work, the dynamics of growing friendships, potential love interests, etc.

It was then that I realized that when Adrienne and I discussed our desire to love, truly love, I discovered why I was drawn to the logs in the creek as well as the trees that fought for their fuel source: It was because I see myself in those trees. Constantly adapting. Constantly working towards betterment. More so, I see my future partners in those trees. I love the unique qualities and the visible drive to obtain their enlightenment. I see the beauty of growth.

I haven't written, because I haven't been grounded.
I haven't been grounded because I haven't taken the time to listen to my surroundings.

Life reminds us that adaptation is necessary, nature reminds us that adaptation makes you beautiful.

Date a girl who reads

Happy Friday! 

Photo Courtesy of Piccsy

As a "girl who reads" I approve this message:

"...If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She'll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she's sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why you heart hasn't burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you're better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes."

~From Rosemarie Urquico's "A Girl You Should Date" (read the whole thing here)

Daze of Spring

“When spring came, even the false spring, there were no problems except where to be happiest. The only thing that could spoil a day was people and if you could keep from making engagements, each day had no limits. People were always the limiters of happiness except for the very few that were as good as spring itself.” 

-Hemingway, A Moveable Feast

Fact: I love spring.

Spring is a season of growth, patience, goals, and dreaming. It is a season of reflection and re-energizing. It is a season of beauty.

I think it's safe to say that everyone loves the summer, but I believe that few can appreciate the true beauty of spring. Spring is a mental escape for me. It's an opportunity to gear up and set goals for the summer weeks just around the corner.

While I do play year-round, winter is naturally a slower time adventure-wise for me. Hiking muddy trails below dark gray skies, eventually wears you thin. Camping below these same skies can actually exaggerate the turmoil of my days and heart. Convincing friends to get out with me during this foul season proves to be tough, but through the years I have found that the winter hiking season is a time to fly solo, focus on me, and reflect on my needs--For better or worse.

Photo: Piccsy

Even sitting here typing this post, the skies outside my office window are an overcast gray, and rain falls with intention, yet, something is different. A new season is upon us, a new promise that the days are getting longer, and the skies will soon brighten. This is a promise that keeps me up at night, excitedly planning out routes, details, and studying maps, locking up weekends. I watch as my calendar fills up with road trips and backpacking dates. My vacation time accrues, and my travel savings account grows (slowly, but hey-it'll get there.), as the skies brighten, I too brighten.


The excitement of Spring goes beyond planning fun excursions with friends and getting out of the state for long road trips, sunroof open, shades on, packs in the back--It carries over into our jobs, our love life, and our relationships with others. Spring is a time to love. A time to trust. A time to go out on a limb.

Photo: Piccsy

I love spring because it's a time to be daring. Your dreams become more bold, your excitement levels are high, your heart more open. Creativity beams.

I will ask you all to take care of your creative Self this Spring. Journal, make lists, blog, create, whatever you need to do to become a part of this season of growth. Accept the flirtation, be honest, be you.

This season is beautiful, you are beautiful.

I Love, Love.

Love will get you. That's for damn sure. Love is electric.

I am not sure where to take this post. I just need to write. I just need to evolve, love. Even those two words are dangerously associated with one another.

As I was reading a fellow bloggers latest post, he questioned if we are anything but love. He wrote about the yearning for love, and how as beings, we all yearn for love. Society has rocketed forward, and yet human beings have never stopped yearning for love. He finished by saying that "love is the greatest thing we possess, the greatest we can give, and the greatest thing to share. Without love, what are we?"

Immediately, I read that and my automatic response was a typical Melissa answer of : "WE ARE INDEPENDENT DAMMIT!" But my own answer made me blush, showing me that in fact I was on the defense. I currently don't have a partner with whom I get to share my love with, so therefore I use my independence as a veil, a curtain to show all those in love that "I've got this" attitude. But of course I want love. I want to share my love, and I want someone to share their love with me. (I realized after this past non-relationship/relationship that the second part of that equation is huge).


I think about finding a man who is well read and intellectual. Employed as well as passionate about his work. An outdoor enthusiast who I can share with, and learn from. Someone who is direct without being cruel. A man who tolerates my love for sports. A man who will travel with me, and a man to explore new cultures with.



 I have been in love before. I do not believe that you can only love one person. I believe that you can love, and people can grow, sometimes not together though (That is when it kills you) I was thinking back to how many times I have "been in love". In my 24 years, I have truly loved 3 men. Only two of whom I actually said it to. But, while reading the book Wanderlust I came across this paragraph:

This is quite the paradox, is it not? I wouldn't say that I am as negative as the author in the belief that it is not possible to hold onto love, but I did like that love is described as a series of moments. This is how I can explain my belief that love does not always have to last forever. NOW with that said, I do though believe that love can last forever, and that these series of moments can lead a couple closer together and strengthen their love, absolutely. This is what we all strive for, and this is what I have yet to find. But the main point that I am trying to make is that love, is fluid. Love changes as you change. This is why out of the 3 men I have loved, it did not last. We grew up, and did not grow together. This does not mean loved them less, it just meant that our moment passed.

I envy those in love. I have friends who have children, trying for children, and planning for children. I have friends planning weddings, and planning anniversaries. I have friends who are like me, just trying to figure everything out, coincidentally they too for the most part are trying to find love. I would be a liar to say that I am not envious of those in love.

Though the more I really broke this envy down, I realized that this is only one type of love. In fact, I am so on the defense about relationships and not being love, that I am missing out on love itself.

If love is the "the greatest thing we possess, the greatest we can give, and the greatest thing to share", then I do love. Love is beyond a man, or a partner. It is about the electricity you feel. When you share your love with someone, take the time to educate others on your passions, and give them the opportunity to experience something new, something....magnificent.

 
I possess a love for the outdoors. I love the energy of being outside, and getting mud on my shoes and on my hands. This energy is two fold though; outward and inward. I love taking people outdoors with me, I love sharing my excitement for the trails with others, and I love nothing more than when people share their excitement with me. Though I also possess a love for the outdoors that is solely intrinsic as well. The reward when you hit the trails, fill your lungs, and clear your mind. It is the ultimate opportunity to re-center and strengthen. This excitement goes beyond the trails too; it goes with me to the lake, when I get  behind my boat to ski; it goes onto the rocks when I climb ; it goes onto the snow when I ski. This love, goes with me everywhere. This love for the outdoors is an endless supply.


I give love to the non-profits I support, the trails that I walk, and to the friends that I curl up with at the end of the day. Just because I am not giving my love to a partner right now, doesn't mean that I am not giving love. My life would be empty if I didn't distribute my love. I really believe that I couldn't make it in life, and truly be happy if I didn't love outwardly, constantly.

I share love daily with others.  I share articles with friends, mainly of others who I find inspirational and who I think may inspire the person I am sending it to as well. For example, I just sent my friend Lisa this article, and my friend Sara this one. I share advice, and I share stories. I share heartache and I share elation. I share time, and I share resources. I share cups of tea and I share ideas. This is all part of sharing love with another.

What I am able to now see is that even though I don't have a partner, I still have love in my life. A lot of it. I have wonderful friends who I get to welcome into my home, and who welcome me into theirs. I have a network full of laughter, tears, crazy stories, and adventures. It is time to lose the veil of defense that I hide behind, and remember that I am still in love, even if I am not in love with someone. And actually, this has helped me enough to realize that I don't need to have someone in my life romantically in order to feel loved, or feel complete. This is not a desperation hunt, this is a journey and I absolutely look forward to meeting that someone, someday--but in the mean time, cheers.

Morals

1)When you're dead, you're dead.

How do so many people forget this? We are here. We are living, loving, creating, exploring, innovative, bold, individuals. This is the one life that we get. Some believe in reincarnation, or the transfer of energy; and I am supportive of those ideals, but even if your soul or energy goes on to "the next life", you will never again have the chance to be exactly who you are in this life ever again. So why the comfort? Why do so many of us settle for the comfort of our jobs, our homes, our possessions? Why can't more of us just take the hands of our loved ones and GO? Take my hand, Love. Let us go.

2)Make love when you can. It's good for you.

Making love can be one of the most uplifting mental escapes (no pun intended for all my male readers). I must admit that I think that the term "making love" is so stupid. You don't make love when you're sleeping with someone. If you are sleeping with someone you deeply care about, well then definitely, sex can in turn bring you closer together both physically, and mentally. It is an opportunity for feelings to flare and chemistry to run. There is no greater feeling than having sex with someone you care immensely about. The connection you have with that partner makes you feel impervious to the rest of the world. But you are not creating love. In comparison to casual sex where you may have your 20 min of fun, there is no chemistry, there is no true connection beyond that of the physical attributes. "making love" with someone you care about, and can laugh with you, and sometimes at you, even when you're in the act with them, is one of the best feelings. Sex is healthy ladies and gents--Enjoy.

3)We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be. 

We all do it. We all try to impress. There is a need built into our brains where we feel it is imperative to be liked by everyone. I always noticed this in my own life whenever I would start dating a new partner. For example, for a date Brennan once asked "do you wanna go see [whatever sci-fi movie was out at the time] and flirtatiously, I replied with an enthusiastic "yes". I was into him, therefore I would have said I wanted to go to a ship yard if that was what he wanted to do. Truth is though, science-fiction isn't my thing. Not even in the slightest. Whatever movie we went to that night I'm sure bored me to tears, but I sat there and pretended to enjoy it. I never told him though that I didn't enjoy it, so he assumed I liked them, and then I got trapped into seeing a zillion other dumb science-fiction movies during our relationship. It was awful! But I wasn't honest with myself, and I pretended to be into those films.

If this pretending gets taken to a higher level, one could really get themselves into a pickle. This goes beyond the basic lie though. This pretending can easily transfer into a newly mandated lifestyle change [something larger than just getting suckered into a sci-fi movie pool]. So make sure if you pretend, you aren't pretending. You will not only lose a lot of people you love, but you will eventually lose yourself. Something I continue to work on daily.

Escape

"Don't wake up a woman in love. Let her dream, so that she does not weep when she returns to her bitter reality" 

--Mark Twain

Think Positive

It is so easy for one to focus on their daily negative vibes. But why waste the energy? And don't pretend that they aren't exhausting. Therefore, I devote this post to be solely about my positives.

I am a college graduate.
I am a kitty mom.
I have traveled. Prague, Greece, Germany, Belize, Mexico, France, Canada. With an oppotunity to go to Brazil and Indonesia.
Hell, I lived in Europe for 3 months.
I give to 4 non-profits monthly.
I am an legal advocate at a domestic violence shelter.
I have a job that I love.
I am a daughter, a sister, a friend, and a lover.
I have an outstanding support network.
I love college football. It has been the best bonding experience for my father and I.
I have experienced love, and I have survived heartbreak.
I have a home, with hot water, and proper plumbing, and a roof to keep me dry.
I am healthy. I am blessed to be in an active relationship where hiking and exploring is our passion.
I am an active community member.
I believe in non-profits, and wild ideas. Some times I wish society would encompass their ideas with the same enthusiasm as I do.

So why focus on the negatives, when as individuals we all have such a presence of inner power? We all have accomplishments. Even if its dragging yourself out of bed with out hitting the snooze button, or parking your car further away, forcing yourself to walk a little bit further. So many people struggle to find their daily positives, and dwell in the "what-if's" and the "why's". And I am not immune by any means. We all have our days, but the trick is to remember the positives, because they are your fuel to keep dancin' along.