Morals

1)When you're dead, you're dead.

How do so many people forget this? We are here. We are living, loving, creating, exploring, innovative, bold, individuals. This is the one life that we get. Some believe in reincarnation, or the transfer of energy; and I am supportive of those ideals, but even if your soul or energy goes on to "the next life", you will never again have the chance to be exactly who you are in this life ever again. So why the comfort? Why do so many of us settle for the comfort of our jobs, our homes, our possessions? Why can't more of us just take the hands of our loved ones and GO? Take my hand, Love. Let us go.

2)Make love when you can. It's good for you.

Making love can be one of the most uplifting mental escapes (no pun intended for all my male readers). I must admit that I think that the term "making love" is so stupid. You don't make love when you're sleeping with someone. If you are sleeping with someone you deeply care about, well then definitely, sex can in turn bring you closer together both physically, and mentally. It is an opportunity for feelings to flare and chemistry to run. There is no greater feeling than having sex with someone you care immensely about. The connection you have with that partner makes you feel impervious to the rest of the world. But you are not creating love. In comparison to casual sex where you may have your 20 min of fun, there is no chemistry, there is no true connection beyond that of the physical attributes. "making love" with someone you care about, and can laugh with you, and sometimes at you, even when you're in the act with them, is one of the best feelings. Sex is healthy ladies and gents--Enjoy.

3)We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be. 

We all do it. We all try to impress. There is a need built into our brains where we feel it is imperative to be liked by everyone. I always noticed this in my own life whenever I would start dating a new partner. For example, for a date Brennan once asked "do you wanna go see [whatever sci-fi movie was out at the time] and flirtatiously, I replied with an enthusiastic "yes". I was into him, therefore I would have said I wanted to go to a ship yard if that was what he wanted to do. Truth is though, science-fiction isn't my thing. Not even in the slightest. Whatever movie we went to that night I'm sure bored me to tears, but I sat there and pretended to enjoy it. I never told him though that I didn't enjoy it, so he assumed I liked them, and then I got trapped into seeing a zillion other dumb science-fiction movies during our relationship. It was awful! But I wasn't honest with myself, and I pretended to be into those films.

If this pretending gets taken to a higher level, one could really get themselves into a pickle. This goes beyond the basic lie though. This pretending can easily transfer into a newly mandated lifestyle change [something larger than just getting suckered into a sci-fi movie pool]. So make sure if you pretend, you aren't pretending. You will not only lose a lot of people you love, but you will eventually lose yourself. Something I continue to work on daily.

Outta My Head

I am back.
I am inspired.
I am am eager and exited to take on my work week ahead.
I am feeling bold.

I have been a working machine lately. I owe my sanity to my coworkers, and my friends for letting me post up in their homes so I didn't have to commute, providing me with never ending candy jars at the office, going out to sushi lunch dates, and simply just letting me vent and go on rants as needed. I have worked straight through the last two and a half weeks with only taking one furlough "day off" for the Oregon home game against UCLA last Thursday. So with the help of my coworkers, I decided that this past Friday I would take that much needed day off, giving myself a three day weekend to play.

Friday was a day of errands, Saturday became a day of recovery and football, and Sunday, today, I dedicated to myself.

I started my day slow this morning while laying in bed texting and reading stats from the last nights Oregon game against USC, finally rolling out of bed around 10-ish. The morning was already off to a good start. I jumped out of bed with a level of confidence and energy that had laid dormant inside me for months. There was only one place for me to go with that energy--the Blue Room of Powells on Burnside. There is something so rejuvenating about not only literature, but books themselves. It is something in the way that you can run your fingers over the printed words and have a story unfold in your mind. And how you can hold the book in your hands, cradling its binding, creating a bond while you are mentally promising the book that you will take care of it, if it in turn promises to take care of your imagination.

Upon my arrival to Portland I parked my car especially far away from Powells forcing myself to absorb Portland in the fall. As I walked along the blocks I found myself in awe of the crisp yellow leaves barely hanging onto their respective trees, eager to join their friends below whom had already shed from the tree creating a beautiful mosaic of Autumn on the sidewalk below. Though the sky was blue, the puddles from the prior nights rain created a gloss over the cold, dark one-way roads of the city. It felt right. Everything felt right.

I shopped at Powells for well over an hour, and with 10 books in hand, decided it was time to leave before I did too much more damage; But I felt it in my gut--I wasn't ready to leave the city. "Onward to the museum!" [I must tell you, that my Portland Art Museum membership was one of the greatest investments....ever] There were things I noticed about the museum today, that I paid extra special attention to that I haven't taken the time to appreciate before. Never had I noticed the tri-color infusion of brick on the building; and how well it meshed with the granite/marble stone that laid the steps as well as trimmed the doors and windows of the museum. Never had I appreciated the large stone benches, deep charcoal in color, placed outside in the courtyard until my friend called right before I walked to the membership desk to check in, forcing me to step outside and sit on one while finishing up the conversation.

How had I never noticed these things before? Why did the Lee Kelly exhibit speak to me the way that it did today when this was my second time seeing the exhibit? The way the bronze sculptures formed such fluid, circular patterns, and were balanced-poised-and engraved. I know that I broke every single law of museum-hood by taking the picture seen below-But I couldn't walk away without one. My justification of course was "Well, if I can take a picture of the Mona Lisa in the Louvre without a flash, I can take a picture of a bronze sculpture without a flash."



I feel like post graduation, I have shed all ideas about who I was supposed to be as a girlfriend, and as a daughter, and really just allowed myself to breathe, and take joy in the simplest things that make me sit back and smile and say "damn, this is incredible".

I've allowed myself to relax.
Travel.
Read....
...a lot.
Laugh.
Trust.
Get lost.
Share.

"Good rare feelings come at the oddest times"

I am ready.

Hello Seattle!

Last weekend I spent some much deserved time in Colorado,and this past weekend I ran up north to Seattle for work. As bitter as I was about traveling alone, I actually had a fantastic time! It sounds odd, but it was almost nice just being by myself and not having to carry a constant conversation with someone else.

Friday night after I checked into the hotel I was in desperate need for some grub, so naturally I hit the town with sushi in mind. About 5 blocks south of my hotel, I bumped into a restaurant called the Red Fin--Local Seattleites, I highly recommend it! And as I walked up to the host he asked how many were in my party, and I replied: "Just me!" as I smiled ear to ear. I couldn't help but think back to the scene in Forgetting Sarah Marshall where Peter goes to dinner alone and Jonah Hill, the host says "Okay, so just a table for one. Sucks. Here's your wine list, your menu, come on. You want, like, a magazine or something? It's gonna be boring if you're just sitting by yourself.I would just be so depressed." But my host at the Red Fin was a total crack up and instead of being like Jonah Hills character he goes "But you're cute!I see no wedding ring, so come with me!" He quickly raced towards the back area of the restaurant while explaining to me that they have a really cute shift working, and that he can put me in a booth where I can see the traffic from the busboy station, sushi kitchen, AND back kitchen, so that way I could at least have some good eye candy while I ate. He was right. The crew on shift that night was very attractive. I may or may have not had a few extra glasses of water for some extra service....

Mid dinner, a woman asked if I was eating alone (uh,yes-duh) as she sat in the other "single booth" next to me. Naturally, we struck up a conversation. I wound up chatting with Lisa for about 45 minutes before I realized that I was running late for an event with some work buddies. While on my way rushing to a bar to meet up with them (mind you-I have no idea where the hell I am, nor where I am going) I passed the Greyhound station. I bumped into some young travelers (all with backpacks-my kind of people!) and we walked the city together until we all figured out where we were and which way we needed to go. They made the maze of Seattle seem a bit more entertaining and a little less stressful! Sure enough though-I found myself at the bar with my co-workers. Hooray!

Saturday though was the big day! The BATTLE IN SEATTLE! Knowing I had to meet the Hares at the hotel at 1:00 in order to take of for Qwest Field on time, I decided to wake up early and hit the city--starting of course with the market! I shopped and played allll morning, until I had to go back and get into work mode. Below are some pictures I snapped off while walking the streets.







Overall, it was an outstanding weekend despite the fact that the Wolves lost to the Wildcats. But it was great to soak up some of that Seattle sunshine (even if it was like 50 degrees outside) and spend some time gettin' lost in the city!

But did thee feel the earth move?

"Once a journey is designed, equipped, and put in process, a new factor enters and takes over. A trip, a safari, an exploration, is an entity, different from all other journeys. It has no personality, temperament, individuality, uniqueness. A journey is a person in itself; no two are alike. And all plans, safeguards, policing, and coercion are fruitless. We find after years of struggle that we do not take a trip; a trip takes us. Tour masters, schedules, reservations, brass-bound and inevitable, dash themselves to wreckage on the personality of the trip. Only when this is recognized can the blown-in-the glass bum relax and go along with it. Only then do the frustrations fall away. In this a journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."

-Travels with Charley: In Search of America


I have learned that I easily get wrapped up in the question "what comes next?" Whether I am planning the "little things" such as my next fund raising strategy, skype dates with distant friends, or frankly what I am going to wear to this weekends events; Or the "bigger things" such as when I can take off an go adventure again, and where I will go. I wind up planning myself into a very excited state of anxiety.

I have an ever-onward look on life. I love to dream, imagine, and plan. I constantly look forward...But today, I stopped to take a look back. I wish there was a cooler story of why I stopped to take my last few years into review, but it wasn't really anything awe inspiring. I sat bored at work on facebook, and decided that it was time for a new default photo [looking back now, I never actually changed it] and clicked into my online photo albums. The titles of these albums read as follows: "Paris. College Life. New York. Placid/Vermont. Michigania. Aegina. Crete. Prague. Berlin. Peloponnese. Athens. Delphi. Santorini. Mykonos. New Jersey/NYC. Cross country road trip." And a slue of other albums filled with pictures from day trips to the beach, crater lake, camping, hiking, climbing, college graduation, the lake, etc.

Holy hell. Go me.

I know that I have done a post before where I wrote out all the things that I am grateful for, but even then I hadn't taken the time to really sit out and fumble with this idea of all of my adventures. Golly. Last weekend I spent in Colorado Springs, and this weekend I am headed to Seattle, yeah, it's for work, but so what. How in the world could I ever complain? Looking back on these past four years when I started college I have met many people, loved many people, and unfortunately hurt many people. I have successfully survived living in a small town such as Monmouth and mastered living in large cities such as Athens. I have been greedy, and I have given it all away. I have pin pointed my pet peeves and discovered my passions. And for those who know me well enough, they too know that, my heart is on the move.

I will forever plan out my "next big thing". Its who I am. The itch to be on the move runs in my blood. But that should never stop me from remembering all that I have already done, and all of the incredible people that I met along the way. Its okay to slow down and look back and smile every now and then.